But how oppo is it? 

"TysMagic" (twjeffery) 05/30/2018 at 17:05 • Filed to: None

0

33

The abarth rolls in with a grand total of 45 points on the circa 2008 jalop score, but do we have one of these for oppo?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

If we don’t, who is going to make one?

Future next gen S2000 owner > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:11

9

It’s easy. Do you love the one you hoon or hoon the one you love?

Yes - 1

No - 0

HammerheadFistpunch > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:15

1

man its been a while. So long so that i gained some age points for the cruiser. Its now up to 162 points, primarily for its lack of cup holders and its abundance of ash trays.

Spanfeller is a twat > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:19

0

My car has 3+25+20+5+25+0+0+5+0+10+10-20+5+0=88

I am supposedly in the “‘Vettes get ‘em wet, dude. As do turbo-diesel Peugeot wagons.”

Oh Lieberman; your philosophy degree shines in your writing.

HammerheadFistpunch > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:19

1

61 for the GX470. I think the test is broken.

TysMagic > HammerheadFistpunch 05/30/2018 at 17:22

0

impressive

Spanfeller is a twat > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:23

1

Oppo test:

Is it a sport trim?

Yes=+10
No=0

Is it only a stupid appearance package?

Yes=-1000
No=0

Driven wheels& others
FWD=0
RWD=0
Whatever jeep calls it’s stupid 4wd system= -30
4WD=+10
AWD=0
trick diff=+100
torque vectoring=+90
Locking diff=200


Etc.

Does it have an Oppo sticker:

Yes=+10000
No=-100000

fintail > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:31

2

There was a newer one of these I think, I seem to recall it had point differentials for column shift vs floor shift automatics.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Spanfeller is a twat 05/30/2018 at 17:32

4

0 points for RWD around this place?

Derpwagon > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:34

0

If I did the math right, my Supra is 171 points.

Your boy, BJR > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:38

0

My car gets 58 points, but it was mentioned in one of Nick Offerman’s stand up specials as “a seriously badass attempt at a car”, so I feel like Ron Swanson liking my car is worth at least another 50 points.

E90M3 > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:40

1

145 for the M3, unless I get the 20 point E39 M5 bump because it’s basically a newer E39 M5 then it’s 165.

nermal > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:43

1

My truck was scoring well until I got to the part about cupholders and NO FEAR stickers.

:-(

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > E90M3 05/30/2018 at 17:43

2

I was thinking the ISF should get that 20+ bump too.

Spanfeller is a twat > interstate366, now In The Industry 05/30/2018 at 17:43

2

RWD is overrated.

LET THE HOTHATCH GODS REIGN

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > Spanfeller is a twat 05/30/2018 at 17:46

4

You done fucked up A A RON.

To the Oppo basement with you.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Spanfeller is a twat 05/30/2018 at 17:47

1

I actually agree with you, but there’s probably going to be an angry mob at your doorstep soon.

DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever > HammerheadFistpunch 05/30/2018 at 17:55

1

It also give you one more point for a V6 over a I-5. Idk how they came to that conclusion.

7:07 > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 17:55

1

-342 points for my 2017 Pacifica. Go big or go home, I guess.

DC3 LS, Fuck Hyundai, now and forever > fintail 05/30/2018 at 17:57

1

Yeah, I think it was posted to Oppo not Jalopnik too. IIRC the link took you too another website that added everything up for you as well.

Spanfeller is a twat > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) 05/30/2018 at 17:58

1

You will never take me alive!

*torque steers out of the publix*

Spanfeller is a twat > interstate366, now In The Industry 05/30/2018 at 17:59

0

I wrote an article saying guns were stupid, complimenting the Vrod harleys, and saying a BMW engine was good.


I was born ready for the backlash

Tareim - V8 powered > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 18:15

0

145 for my e82, not bad

interstate366, now In The Industry > Spanfeller is a twat 05/30/2018 at 18:21

0

I’ve said that electric power steering is better than hydraulic, Hondas and Acuras don’t get a fair shake (despite me not enjoying the TLX), the new Focus and Fiesta are ugly and I’m glad they’re not coming to the US and Canada, and that Virginia isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. So yeah, I’m there too.

Spanfeller is a twat > interstate366, now In The Industry 05/30/2018 at 18:23

0

Oh, that’s baby stuff.


I tried to publish a nuanced opinion on a political topic in the Jalopnik front page.

I lived through days of “30" notifications. That changes a man.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Spanfeller is a twat 05/30/2018 at 18:31

0

You’d think so, but I went through that with the Virginia thing a few times. I love it here, and I’ve done absolutely maniacal things in high-profile cars on the roads here many times, and have yet to get even pulled.

Spanfeller is a twat > interstate366, now In The Industry 05/30/2018 at 18:35

1

Oh god, that is actual gangster.

I kneel to thee

interstate366, now In The Industry > Spanfeller is a twat 05/30/2018 at 18:42

0

There definitely are areas that I absolutely do not exceed the speed limit, though. The state’s reputation is not entirely without merit, obviously.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > interstate366, now In The Industry 05/30/2018 at 18:51

0

RWD would be like +10 points.

There would also need to be a special category for sport/performance trim with FWD, which would also get some positive points, possibly above even RWD.

You also missed body styles. Hatchbacks should be like +25, wagons are +100, wagons that pretend to be hatchbacks and aren’t called wagons are +75. SUVs would be negative or positive based on whether they’re stock.

Age of the car would also need to come in. Older > Newer. Unique > Common.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 05/30/2018 at 18:58

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You replied to the wrong person, but yeah. Body styles are definitely warranted, as would be transmission types. And perhaps rarity of a a manual transmission in a particular car. (For example, my TSX is pretty boring on its own, but it has a manual, which is extremely rare for that car.)

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 19:02

0

I drive like the most popular Jalop car in recent memory and I get a mere 35? This is broken.

Die-Trying > nermal 05/30/2018 at 19:18

0

just smear some bondo on in a few places, and watch the points roll in..... also just stick some house ash trays into the cup holders, for “ash tray holders”.......

wkiernan > TysMagic 05/30/2018 at 19:21

0

My “new” ‘09 NC Miata gets a Jalopnik score somewhere between 111 and 136, depending on how you read the rules.

longitudinal engine: 25

two doors: 25

fabric convertible: 15

rear-wheel drive: 25

manual transmission: 20

made in Japan: 1

Under POWA!, this thing is rated at 167 hp.

167: 5

“161- 270 hp: 5 points. Not too shabby”

but also see “101-160 hp: 0 points. Unless you drive a Se7en or a Miata, that’s +20 points” I’m out of the 101-160 range but it is a Miata. So I could read this category as 5, 20 or even 25 points.

Under Other I see “cupholder: -5 for each cupholder”

two cupholders: -10

and “ashtray: 5 points for every ashtray”

one ashtray: 5

Now this car has two cupholders, inconveniently located in the doors. Stef Schrader would definitely disapprove: there’s no way you can get a Big Gulp in those things, I don’t even think a Starbucks “Venti” cup would fit. And, if you have an ashtray it goes in one of the cupholders . So does that make -5 for those two categories (-10 for two cupholders, +5 for the ashtray) or can I read the fact that one cupholder is occupied by the ashtray to mean that that one isn’t really a cupholder at all (insofar as it can’t hold a cup) so it adds up to zero (-5 for the passenger side cupholder, +5 for the ashtray)?

duurtlang > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 05/31/2018 at 01:23

0

Nah, it’s too new.